Wednesday, 26 June 2013

ehhhh first post lads

Do you remember the first time?
I can't remember a worse time.
But you know that we've changed so much since then,
oh yeah, 
we've grown.
now I don't care what you're doing,
no I don't care if you screw him.
just as long as you save a piece for me, 
oh yeah

First posts are always pretty awkward so I was thinking theres no other way to start it off than with some lyrics... Although I'm pretty sure Mr Cocker (legend) was referring to virginity and not the first post of a fucking retarded blog on "Blogger" or whatever this shit is even called... Guess it's slightly relevant  So I'm essentially breaking this blogs post virginity, fabulous!

This is shit so I'm going to start off with some facts about me/this blog/tonic wine.

  • My name isn't fucking Iris and I used a random name generator to come up with it. Thing is I've had blogs before but I've always been too paranoid that people I know would come across it and I freaked the fuck out and always ended up deleting them within a month... But now that cannot possibly happen! I, or "Iris" or whatever I've made my name, can finally take the blogging-world by storm without being a super-para bitch.
  • I'm eighteen years old, fresh out of high school and loooooving it. I start university in September (Politics and Philosophy, baby) and I'm pretty sure I'm going to love that too. Cheap drinks and free cheeseburger from McDonalds with my student card? Yes please.... All booze/food related perks aside, I genuinely am looking forward to the learning part as I'm finally going to get to spend my time studying what I enjoy and nothing else.
  • Sex, drugs and rock n roll. Add a lot of fabulous people (i.e. my classy friends.. sarcasm on the word 'classy'), plenty of good banter, scran (wonderful Scottish word for 'food'), cigarettes and alcohol into the mix and that, my friends, is my life. It's pretty fuckin' dyno.
  • This blogs URL 'liesat17' is basically from the song "Why Does It Always Rain On Me?" I thought it was pretty accurate and fitting for me as all I did at the age of 17 was lie... I'm not exaggerating in the slightest, I'd elaborate but to sum up: I bullshitted my way through life for an entire year.  I realised this when I was standing in town just trying to enjoy a cigarette and it wouldn't stop fucking raining.  Why does it always rain on meeeee, is it because I liiied when I was seventeeeen?! .... or maybe it's because I live in fucking Scotland and the weather is fucking shite. That's more likely.
  • I honestly do not have a clue what this blog is going to consist of. It's probably going to be shite but I'm thinking I'll just go with the flow, that's what I've done with my life so far and I'm happy with that. All I know is that it will be better than the blog I had when I was 14, all I posted about was "that totally hot guy from my biology class who really looks like Taylor Lautner!!!!!" (interesting facts: He wasn't that hot, he didn't look like Taylor Lautner in the slightest I finally got with him a few months ago at a party and he ended up being a really bad kisser. I'm also pretty sure he's gay.)
  •  A bottle of MD 20/20 (better known here as 'Mad Dug' or simply, 'Dug') has 1536 calories per bottle. FACT.
Hows that for a first post then, eh?

IRIS xxxxxx